What is Rapport?

Rapport is an essential element to effective communication. It occurs when behaviours and energy levels are matched. It is almost as if you become synchronised with another person and you begin to see the world through their eyes and their perspective. There is no such thing as good or bad rapport; it is purely a description of a matching of communication.

Most rapport is attained on an unconscious level. For example, think of a time where you have been engrossed in conversation with somebody. Naturally, you will begin to mirror the body language and expressions used by the person you are talking to and they will also mirror you in return. You may not have noticed this happening, but it happens all the time. Next time you see two people deep in conversation some where; take a moment to look at their body language. You will notice that they have rapport, they are synchronised on the same level by using similar gestures and body language.

How do you create effective rapport?

Although we have said that most rapport is on an unconscious level, it is still possible to learn methods of creating rapport consciously. This is particularly useful when giving presentations and attending job interviews. When you are giving a presentation, your aim is to create rapport with your audience so that everyone is on the same level. When this happens, you will feel more at ease with your audience and it will be easier to convey meaning through your presentation. Similarly, when attending a job interview, if you are able to be in rapport or harmony with your potential employer, they will automatically feel more familiar with you and you will also feel more at ease with them. The result of this is that you will feel more confident to be yourself and be able to demonstrate your ability and your competence at doing the job.

For a great example of how effective rapport can be, consider the following quote:

“When people are like each other, they like each other”.

There are 3 main ways to consciously create rapport. These are:

1)      By using actual words used and jargon used by the other person (s).

2)      By using the same voice tone

3)      By adopting the same physiology.

Remember that 55% of our communication comes from our use of body language. As this is the case, we are going to focus on creating rapport through use of body language.

Here is an exercise you can practice to create rapport with another person. Please remember that as most rapport is unconscious, it is also quite subtle, so when matching peoples behaviours, pay attention to doing this subtly otherwise it may be obvious to them what you are doing and there might be some explaining to do!

You can match another person’s physiology by paying attention to the following:

• How they are sitting or standing
• The position of their head, shoulders, arms, hands and legs
• Weight distribution – is it centred or to one side or forward or back
• What gestures do they use? – Open or closed gestures
• How much do they move? What kind of movements do they use?
• Their facial expressions. How animated are these expressions?

An insider secret to doing this exercise in the most effective way is to follow the other person’s gestures only when you are talking and not when they are talking. This way it will look natural and you will create rapport with ease.